two chicks write some larps

and make a half-assed website about it

stuff we've written - stuff we're running - stuff we're planning - stuff about us


7/4/21: Hahahahahaha well in the...mumblty almost two years...since I last updated this, we've premiered three new games. Je ne l'ai pas fait exprès and The Exponents of Love in December, 2019, literally just so we could say we premiered one more game in our tenth anniversary year than we did in our first year, and then Un-Hamlet at Intercon T. And then there was a panini. Do we even know what larps are anymore? What is human? How shall we survive? Is there even a point to an events page?

We've also added a super-important page to our site: our safety doc! This applies to any game we run.


Paranoid & Crotchety is the reportedly awesome larp-writing team of Lily and Tory, two short fangirls. We've come to like stick-waving as well as card-waving but haven't written a game with it yet, and we write litform games because we enjoy inflicting melodramatic character sheets upon hapless geeks. We like weird-ass characters, angst, queerness, contingency envelopes, identity fuckery, and crotchety old folks with shotguns.

We love making people cry on the floor, but we also love doing so safely. Our safety doc is a living document and applies to any game we run.

Some of our games are solo projects, and some are co-written. We pretty much share a brain, though it is not made of foam. We have shared a brain for many years, and written and run games together since February, 2009. We've written approximately eighteen games, most of which we've run at least four or five times.

We've decided that our troope subtitle is officially "can't sleep, tree will eat us," but Tory's never bothered to put it on the website. Like she might redesign the logo at some point, but right now she's too busy sleeping, heedless of the arborial dangers.

If you want to know about upcoming runs and other shenanigans, you can sign up for our mailing list! It's even a Google group now, for ease of signups. Whee!


There are, in general, three frequently asked questions. We will answer them here:


Lily is the slightly shorter fangirl with dark brown hair. She is Russian, and wants to play in everything. When she is not playing, she is writing, GMing, or talking, because she's a Gemini. She also has an unholy lust for casting questionnaires, and would like you to enable viewing and editing answers on your Google Forms so she may continue to refine her technique.

Tory is the slightly taller fangirl with reddish hair. She is (part) Danish, and often GMs. When she is not GMing, she is writing or working on the website, to make up for the fact that she doesn't talk as much. She is also responsible for the little booklets and other design quirks of our games, because she's a Virgo, and would like you to return your props and namebadge holders after game.

Other short fangirls who have helped us run stuff are Stephanie (A Crown of Hearts), Julia (Stars Over Atlantis), Julia (The Other Side of the Glass, repeatedly), and Lisa (Folding the River.)

Some people who are not short fangirls have also helped us run stuff! Annie (Lifeline) is a tall fangirl. Andrew (The Treaty of Pallas) is a tall fanboy. Sparrow (Folding the River) is a tall fanperson. Matt and Lise (Lifeline and A Crown of Hearts) are two people, and thus cannot be quantified, though one of them might be a short fangirl. Ian and Different Matt are similarly unquantifiable, as are Jeff and Alon, as are Gaylord and Connor (A Crown of Hearts needs too many GMs.) Sarah is an awesome propmaker for A Crown of Hearts. Jaelen (Lifeline) is a Jaelen. Dan (The Roots of Yggdrasil) is a demon. Nat (Folding the River and A Crown of Hearts) is a saint.