A page header image shows two theater masks, one cranky and one nervous. The title reads: Paranoid & Crotchety. We write larps.

Last updated: 3/20/24

Tory's updating the website less than a month after a new game premiered! And she doesn't even have Ritalin right now because the FDA is stupid! Holy crap.

Also if you happen to have been here before, yeah, it looks different. This site is due for more updates, honestly, but this is at least a start. You might want to check out this page if you want to make Tory run games for you, and this page if you want to stay in touch and/or help us out.

What We Do

Paranoid & Crotchety is the reportedly awesome larp-writing team of Lily and Tory, two short fangirls. We mostly write one-shot games with pre-written character sheets and no live combat, though we are starting to branch out a little. Still, inflicting melodramatic character sheets upon hapless geeks is what we're best at. We like complicated characters and relationships, angst, queerness, contingency envelopes, identity fuckery, games about intimacy, deeper worldbuilding than is commonly advised in one-shots, and crotchety old folks with shotguns.

We love making people cry on the floor, but we also love doing so safely. Our safety doc is a living document and applies to any game we run (except for a few games that work with touch more specifically, in which case the stickers don't apply.)

Some of our games are solo projects, and some are co-written. We pretty much share a brain, though it is not made of foam. We have shared a brain for many years, and written and run games together since February, 2009. We've written twenty-something games, most of which we've run at least four or five times. And we are currently swarming with ideas for new projects, oops.

Who We Are

Lily is the slightly shorter fangirl with dark brown hair who wants to play in everything. When she is not playing, she is writing, GMing, or talking, because she's a Gemini. She also has an unholy lust for casting questionnaires, and would like you to enable viewing and editing answers on your Google Forms so she may continue to refine her technique.

Tory is the slightly taller fangirl with reddish hair who often GMs. When she is not GMing, she is writing, working on the website, or working on the casting tool Cantrip, to make up for the fact that she doesn't talk as much. She is also responsible for the little booklets and other design quirks of our games, because she's a Virgo, and would like you to return your props and namebadge holders after game.

We love people who've written games with us over the years! Like Albert, and Jaelen and Kat, and Nat and Susan and Kate. Yay co-writers! We also love Sarah who's helped make some awesome props.

We extra-duper love people who've helped us run our games. Like Andrew, Annie, Alon, Connor, Conrad, Dan, Gaylord, Ian, Jaelen, Jenny, Julia, Lisa, Lise, Matt 1, Matt 2, Nat, Sparrow, Teph, and Teresa. Yay!!

Frequently Asked Questions

  • Tory is paranoid and Lily is crotchety. Most of the time.
  • We may re-run $GAMEYOUWANTTOPLAY at some point, we just might need to do some edits first, and in some cases that might, uh, take a while. Or if it's listed here, just drop us a line.
  • We may have $GAMEYOUWANTTORUN available to run at some point, but none of our games are currently boxable, though some of them are very close.