two chicks write some larps

and make a half-assed website about it

stuff we've written - stuff we're running - stuff we're planning - stuff about us


4/10/19: A small update just to add the bluesheets for The Sound of Drums. Every player gets them, so why not post them here in advance?


Paranoid & Crotchety is the reportedly awesome larp-writing team of Lily and Tory, two short fangirls. We write litform larps, have come to like stick-waving as well as card-waving but haven't written a game with it yet, and enjoy inflicting melodramatic character sheets upon hapless geeks. We like weird-ass characters, angst, bisexuality, contingency envelopes, identity fuckery, and crotchety old folks with shotguns.

Some of our games are solo projects, and some are co-written. We pretty much share a brain, though it is not made of foam. We have shared a brain for many years, and written and run games together since February, 2009. We've written over a dozen games, most of which we've run at least twice.

We've decided that our troope subtitle is officially "can't sleep, tree will eat us," but Tory's never bothered to put it on the website. Like she might redesign the logo at some point, but right now she's too busy sleeping, heedless of the arborial dangers.

If you want to keep abreast (hurr) of our upcoming runs and other shenanigans, you can sign up for our mailing list! It's even a Google group now, for ease of signups. Whee!


There are, in general, three frequently asked questions. We will answer them here:


Lily is the slightly shorter fangirl with dark brown hair. She is Russian, and wants to play in everything. When she is not playing, she is writing, GMing, or talking, because she's a Gemini. She also has an unholy lust for casting questionnaires, and would like you to enable viewing and editing answers on your Google Forms so she may continue to refine her technique.

Tory is the slightly taller fangirl with reddish hair. She is (part) Danish, and often GMs. When she is not GMing, she is writing or working on the website, to make up for the fact that she doesn't talk as much. She is also responsible for the little booklets, cloth baggies, and generally insane production values of our games, because she's a Virgo.

Sarah, another short fangirl with pale brown hair, is a auxilliary member minion. Sarah is a good minion! She makes awesome props, and will probably GM at some point.

Other short fangirls who have helped us run games are Stephanie (A Crown of Hearts), Julia (Stars Over Atlantis), and Lisa (Folding the River.)

Some people who are not short fangirls have also helped us run games. Ray (The Other Side of the Glass) is a short fanperson. Annie (Lifeline) is a tall fangirl. Andrew (The Treaty of Pallas) is a tall fanboy. Sparrow (Folding the River) is a tall fanperson. Matt and Lise (Lifeline and A Crown of Hearts) are two people, and thus cannot be quantified, though one of them might be a short fangirl. Ian and Different Matt (A Crown of Hearts) are similarly unquantifiable, as are Jeff and Alon (A Crown of Hearts needs too many GMs.) Jaelen (Lifeline) is a Jaelen. Nat (Folding the River and A Crown of Hearts) is a saint.